One piece of paper

Nobody writes letters anymore.

When I was a kid, I had three pen pals. They were all girls, go figure, but it was a great thrill receiving a personal letter in the mail. I'd never met any of them in person, but we exchanged pictures. A couple of them I chatted with online as well, so we didn't rely solely on the letters for conversation, but it was fun.

A few of us in college also sent letters to each other, with various surprises inside occasionally. We saw each other every day, so it's not like it was the only way we talked, but it was still fun to find a handwritten letter in your mailbox.

So why is that? It's not the same with email. Email is pretty much our default method of communication these days. With the ability to reach people instantly, we simply jot down a few lines, click "send," and have a reply right away. Combine that with the fact that online chatting is everywhere, and there's no lack of communication. But it kind of feels like the more connected we are, the more distant we are because it's so easy. There's not much effort involved to keep in touch, so we don't seem to devote as much thought to it.

And then there's the advent of blogging and social walls like Facebook, where we just put our information out there and expect it to be seen. We don't even send it to a target anymore, we just write it down and that's it. For me, anyway, it's so hard to wade through the virtual noise that I constantly miss the important stuff from my friends because I just can't find it.

So here's a homework assignment for you: Send a letter to someone. Not email, not a Facebook message, but an actual letter. Snail mail, as it were. Handwrite it. Put a little goofy picture in it. Let that person know you thought enough about them to sit down and put some effort in your communication.

Just one piece of paper can make a world of difference in someone's day.

I'm back

It has been both a very long and very short six months.

Looking back, I should have kept up with the journaling. I think it would have helped me better deal with all this. I started to write a little, something of a memoir, but stopped because I didn't really know what to write.

Well, I'm going to try journaling instead. I'm much better mentally from where I started, but the aftershocks linger. Being able to drive again and having everything back to "normal" feels a lot better than I anticipated. I'm also exercising, reclaiming my body. That feels good, too.

I don't know what's going into this blog, or how often it'll happen. I'm going to make a concerted effort to do it, but I'm not much of a blogger. I do apologize if anyone's come here looking for updates over the past six months. I believe I was active in Facebook, but that doesn't carry over to this blog.

I went back and edited the previous posts for readability. It's amazing how the mind takes care of itself. I only vaguely remember the hospital now. I think I remember writing some of that, but it all sort of blends together. And there might have been one nightmare, but I'm not sure. Regardless, the mental impact was more subtle and still profound, yet not as bad as I was afraid of.

I'm slower than I used to be, and I lose words more often, but there's been no real degradation of my mental function. I think I'm really the only one who notices. Of course, it could just be hypochondria.

There's also no real effect on me physically - aside from becoming fat and out of shape. I'm exercising daily. Not pushing myself, just moving a bit, building up endurance slowly. The progress is astounding, though. It's amazing how quickly the body can get stronger and adapt.

Anyway, much like I'm adding the exercise to my daily routine to strengthen my body, I think I need to add blogging to strengthen my soul. I'm doing better - Miriam says I'm almost like a totally new person - but I could be doing better still.

Thank you for staying with me.

I'm home.

Rereading my previous blog posts, I only vaguely remember posting them. Even when I was better and more responsive in the hospital I was still drugged up and the days sort of blended together.

Thank you everyone for your support. It helped much more than I could ever express.

Around Saturday night I hit the point where I was just irritable and impatient, which was a very good sign. I was very much ready to go home, and my doctors were remarking that I was looking good. I still had a few tests, but Sunday was more or less a waiting day. We changed rooms on Saturday to get away from my extremely ill-tempered roommate. His ire was never directed at me, of course, but when he wasn't confused, he was belligerent and abusive to the wonderful nurses who remained very professional.

I got the defibrillator on Monday around 11. They moved me early in the morning to Hackensack Memorial and there wasn't actually a lot of waiting. The surgery itself apparently went longer than it should have (about 2 hours) but was a big success. The weird part is they gave me a local anesthetic and didn't quite knock me out, so I vaguely remember the beginning and the end of it. It was very bizarre. They did put me under in order to test the thing since there were electric shocks involved. I still wish there were some sort of designer defib that you could stick in your chest to look like Iron Man. That would be AWESOME.

I stayed overnight for observation. That was a very very rough night. I think it had more to do with the compress they put on the wound to make sure it closed, but it felt like I went jousting and lost. Now that the bandage is off it feels MUCH better. It's just mainly that blunt tiring kind of sore. In the hospital, codeine was only doing so much, but now the Tylenol is perfectly adequate.

They tested the defib on Tuesday morning, and everything looks good. I can shower tomorrow - I can get the wound wet as long as I keep the spray off it. The neat thing is they use this glue now. No stiches, no staples, they just shellacked my shoulder and this glue will remain while the wound heals and it'll come off by itself.

I have limited mobility, but that should get better. I've got exercises to do, and I'll be following up with the doctor in two weeks and get an update on how far I can push it.

I'm home now, safe and sound. The worst part is over and now it's just recovery.

Status Update.

I think the iPad craziness was due more to sweaty fat fingers. It's easier to use now, but typing is still not quite as easy as I'm used to.Anyway, I had my MRI, and I had an echocardiogram on my throat. Last I heard the echo was still being looked at. The good news is all the major stuff is done. All I've got now is some physical therapy and maybe another chest x-ray or two while they monitor my lungs.If the cardiologists had their way, I'd get my defibrillator tomorrow. The pulminary doctor, however, wants to wait until Monday to make sure I'm completely out of the pneumonia woods.So Monday I'll be going to Hackensack Memorial for the defibrillator. They're going to keep me at least overnight for observation. After that, I go home. So now it's just a waiting game to get my strength up. The nurses keep remarking how I look better each day, so that's good.Once I get home, no driving for six months. That's the danger time in which another episode is likely to happen, and behind the wheel of a car is an extremely bad place to get zapped.Thank you everyone for the well wishes. I had a couple surprising and very welcome visitors, and my mood couldn't be better for all the support I have. Apparently I also have a prayer circle that rings the US.Thank you everyone.

Out of the woods, but not out of the park

They moved me out of ICU to Radiology. I'm on solid foods now, but I haven't yet seen what foods they're letting me have.The next step is an MRI, which I've heard rumblings that could be as early as this afternoon. I ultimately need to get a defribillator, which will happen most likely sometime this week. If all goes well, I'll be home and done by the end of the week. I don't really know the plan so much, though.More as we know more, but I'm out of the ICU craziness.

My sickness update, part one.

Hey guys!

First, let me say that Miriam showed me a lot of your responses since I was without a computer, and I'm getting as emotional now as I was then. This is unusually hard to write on ipad, either because there is a lot of electricity around here, so conduction is weak, or it's because my fingers are useless for the Ipad. Yesterday, that was actually true, and I had to wash and dry my fingers to get anything to work, but today I find there is a disconnect from what you touch and what you actually select. It makes it hard to use email and Facebook, and I was also having trouble with HBOGo. I think it's because it's so hot and humid here that every so often it has trouble figuring out what you actually selected.

After that pathetic excuse, let me start by where I remember: The night of the sixth. I can't really remember anything until sometime in the night, with my parents there. To be honest, I'm not really sure what I remember until promtpted. However, that was the beginning of true lucidity. Although I don't really remember the CT scan either. Yesterday Miriam and I watched the season 2 premiere of Game of Thrones and I discovered that I actually remembered it but I didn't actually remember watching it. Of course, the next day is when all this started, so I'm not surprised I don't remember. And there were just two announcements (rapid response 911 and a code blue) that makes it going to be a busy night so I'll stop here and continue the update tomorrow.

I'm trying to publish to my general blog because for some reason an outgoing email didn't make it and I'm not entirely sure when I'll be back on my actual personal internet service. It's almost 6 am. Dan'll be here today. Can't remember who else will be here today, but I'm going to try to get more sleep.

5:20am: Wow. I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up really disoriented. I guess the past few nights I've had a family member be something of a familiarity buffer, because I woke up to a lot of stuff going on. I kind of recognized the black male nurse, but without the female nurse, Mary, it would have taken an awful lot to recognize the room I fell asleep in. Guess this is what happens when you finally get a bit of uninterrupted sleeping time.

Miriam's updates part two

On Fri, Apr 6, 2012 at 5:30 PM, Sophie Plante wrote:
I spoke with Miriam earlier today, and she asked that I send out a quick update. Today was another good day! They were able to extubate Chris this morning and take him off the sedatives. He has been awake and talking, and really doing a lot better. He still has a bad cough, and is still fighting the pneumonia off, but things are looking much better now that he is off the vent. Miriam will keep us updated, but for now she is spending as much time with Chris and enjoying being able to have a conversation with him again!! :0)Lots of love!! Sophie ~

8:00 AM 4/7/12
UPDATE Sorry to all for no update last night and thank you Sophie for helping me out updating yesterday. As of 8 PM last night Chris was making remarkable progress. At first his short term memory was shaky but as the day went on even that was getting better. He is, from what I can tell, his old self. He is even joking around telling me it was nice of him to wait until I got home to have his heart attack. He was very happy to hear that in the commotion on Monday I dropped his cell phone and it has not worked since so he is getting a new I Phone - something good always comes from something bad. The cough is the worst part of this whole scenario right now and the doctors took him to get a CT scan of his chest to figure out why that is not abating. I do not have the results of that yet. BTW - Chris thought the CT Scan was "really cool". (He was on Codeine at the time of the comment.) Still also waiting on the neurological assessment now that he is off the sedatives.More updates to come! Many, many thanks for the prayers, thoughts and love. Keep it coming! I am a big believer in the power of positive thinking.

9:00 PM 4/7/12
UPDATE Chris continues his steady and amazing progress. He is on a liquid diet today and the coughing is far less than yesterday. He is retaining memory more. He is still working on the pneumonia but perhaps Chris is starting beat it since the coughing has receded. Most importantly, he is now playing with his ipad. If you are on FaceBook, please go ahead and send him a message. He would really like that. Please so not call him as I broke his cell phone on Monday and I have a feeling it is beyond repair.